“Think of me as a spatula!”

I hereby brand myself a simple tool totally unsuited to the job at hand
Mention Wynne or, worse, Rachel Notley, and O’Leary unleashes a torrent of invective: “stupid,” “mediocre” and “incompetent.” “Think of me as a spatula,” he says. “I’ve got to scrape the crap out of there.”
—Reported by Jason McBride, Toronto Life, Aug. 24, 2016.

Never been used, didn’t want to throw it out
Later in the…interview, O’Leary was much blunter: “Would I buy [Valeant Pharmaceuticals] stock? Never. This thing is so tainted it’s radioactive waste.… Whenever you get accounting teams on a company, the best thing you can do is get a spatula, scrape up the whole board, [and] change the name of the company.”
—Reported by Nelson Smith, fool.ca, Dec. 2, 2016.

More like a semi-literate buffoon scraping away centuries of English grammar
I am taking on a new role on behalf of the Canadian taxpayer. Think of me as a spatula that is designed to scrape away incompetency [sic] and mediocracy [sic] in provincial and federal government.
—Kevin O’Leary, huffingtonpost.ca, Sept. 14, 2016.

Marie-Danielle Smith @mariedanielles · 23 Dec 2016
oh my stars. Kevin O’Leary just held a big spatula up to discuss scraping the crap out of Ottawa in a live Facebook video.

And it’s also good for slapping oneself on the head
Wielding a spatula that also made an appearance in his Facebook announcement, O’Leary said on News Channel that he’ll symbolically use the kitchen tool “to scrape all the stupid policies out of Ottawa.”
—Reported by ctvnews.ca. Dec. 23, 2016.

No doubt inspired by Hercules’s first attempt at cleaning out the Augean stables
Kevin O’Leary says removing “all that crap” from Ottawa in the 2019 federal election will be a difficult procedure, but he insists he has the tool necessary for the job. A big spatula…. “Most Canadians know this is an absolute mess,” O’Leary said, before brandishing his alleged government-cleaning tool. “This is a device we’re going to need.”
—Reported by Mohamed Omar, Huffington Post Canada, Dec. 23, 2016.

Marie-Danielle Smith @mariedanielles · 23 Dec 2016
O’Leary just said the spatula is “a-comin’ to Ottawa”

Because it worked so well the first time
O’Leary said the country needs saving from “weak, weak managers.” “The whole cabinet is weak,” he said. “It’s a spatula we need.… Scrape it clean and start again.”
—Reported by Janice Dickson, Canadian Press, Nov. 26, 2018.

Hey, you smelt it, you dealt it!
“We’re going to fire and we’re going to hire,” O’Leary said of the Tory plan for the government. “I’m so motivated to get out there and make this change happen because I smell it.”
—Ibid.

Oh, well, then
…Khashoggi is being presented as a hero of journalism. He’s probably going to be Time magazine’s Man of the Year just because he is a dead so-called journalist. But in fact he was kind of a deep state Saudi spook who just happened to fall out with the royal family.
—Mark Steyn, on The Tucker Carlson Show, Nov. 23, 2018.

Steak fritz
So it’s 2:39 a.m. in Oslo, Norway. I woke up in a too-hot hotel room out of a fitful nightmare, which I can only partially remember. I haven’t had a dream that I could recall even that clearly in a very long period of time. The last one was about traveling and speaking and not getting enough to eat…. It occurred just before I embarked on what has now been a nine-month, 85-city world tour. I am on a very restricted diet, eating only beef and water, as a consequence of what appears to be a rather intractable auto-immune disease. I was concerned at some deep unconscious level about what might go wrong if I set out to talk with 250,000 people: If I could not eat, then I could not think and then things would not go well. Hence the nightmare…. I had a shower, and we went for a steak, and we tried to put the episode behind us, as we must, under such conditions, when the next city and the next audience beckons…
—Jordan Peterson, National Post, Nov. 2, 2018.

My wife Tammy and I flew in early in the morning from Amsterdam after three days of nonstop press and talks. Then we slept for three hours and found The Maison du Steak, which served an excellent ribeye…. Dinner after that. Two more steaks….
We closed with another dinner. It takes a lot of steaks to fuel 12 solid hours of thinking.
—Jordan Peterson, National Post, Nov. 8, 2018.

Palo Alto, Cal. woman shares ongoing public struggle with math, xenophobia
There are now more than 64,000 migrants waiting in a backlog to have their cases heard by an immigration judge. It will take years, possibly a decade, to work through all these applications.
—Candice Malcolm, Toronto Sun, Nov. 22, 2018.

The Immigration and Refugee Board says wait times are currently at 21 months,
—Reported by Canadian Press, Nov. 2, 2018.

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6 comments on ““Think of me as a spatula!”
  1. mmedesevigne says:

    My heart goes out to the dedicated public servants at Frankland Capital Corporation who have to winnow these nuggets of drivel from the vast mountain of Kev’s brain droppings.

  2. John MacLachlan Gray says:

    After a steady diet of beef and water, perhaps Peterson will hire Keven will use the spatula on his arse.

  3. wolfkir says:

    Kevin must’ve burned a lot of scrambled eggs. How else to acquire such scraping skills?

  4. OJM says:

    Sorry to hear of Jordan Peterson’s all-beef travails…converting the world’s nebbishes into he-men is a daunting enough task in its own right…to do so while battling against the malignancy of vegetarianism is too much to ask of any messiah.

  5. Patrick60 says:

    Kevin would do better with a toilet brush. I know where he could start. As for Peterson, that may take care of itself in due time.

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