Tony Clement, Little ShitTM, Treasury Board supremo and keeper of the Privy Purse, has had another brainwave to bring those shiftless, malingering, deadbeat public servants to heel.
Bad enough the parasites are gaming the system with bogus sick leave (the average public employee, shocking figures show, takes over 400 sick days a year and has never once shown up for work), but now comes word of wholesale abuse of another magnitude.
Instead of working, Tony’s sources tell him, some public servants are (pas possible!!) farting around online, searching for bargains on eBay! And when they’re finished with that shit, they’re re-selling on Kijijji or editing the minister’s Wikipedia entry in the most unflattering terms.
Many enterprising souls even run their own small businesses out of their government office, deck building, say, for a tidy little supplementary income — and a welcome dose of purposeful activity.
Now Tony’s tits are in a tangle over all this time-banditry and he has decreed that henceforth all cubicle dividers must be pulled down so flunkies can be better monitored and their interwebz wassailing curtailed.
The pilot project for the minister’s latest modernizing vision will be launched next month at Agriculture Canada, which will dump the dividers and try the open concept — introduced nearly 20 years ago in the private sector, which Tony, like so many career politicians, venerates from afar.
So that’s it then for AGCan sluggos deep discounting on Groupon or peddling their Hollywood Beach condos on Airbnb. Jeez, it’s hardly worth going to work anymore.
Of course, government departments currently try to monitor their flunkies’ activities online, but there’s an acute shortage of IT elflords.
Well, er, because Tony sacked so many of them.