By the beard of the prophet, I’m shocked and appalled!

I’m shocked to hear about this terrible satirical magazine business.

Anybody else shocked to learn there’s such a thing as a satirical magazine business?

Of course it’s terrible; I don’t know how you could make a go of one these days. Especially in Paris, as I understand that the French for “magazine” is “corner store.”

We don’t even get Maclean’s anymore, and that’s in English.

And then to cap it off they get themselves killed. Sure, maybe the pen could be mightier than the sword if you get your hands on a real nice pen, but satirists need to take into account that gunpowder’s been around for 500 and some-odd years.

Unless you got damn lucky even a top-of-the-line Sheaffer wouldn’t stand up against an AK-47.

Them writer and artist types pride themselves on staying on top of current events, but for some reason they remain weirdly fixated on old-fashioned melee weapons.

Now of course I don’t meant to blame the victim, as funny as that would be.

France probably has as many laws regulating guns as they got for cheese, and not everyone has the presence of mind of our prime minister to duck in a closet.

But the fact remains if cartoonists had even basic firearms training they could at least stand a chance of takin’ a Johnny Mohammed down with ’em. If he’s still alive I bet that’s on Aislin’s bucket list.

We could debate until we’re blue in the balls about how governments should respond – for instance, strategic or tactical nukes? – but that can be left for another day, seeing how it’s only Thursday.

I just hope some good can come of this, like maybe another Conservative majority.

We can’t let the terrorists win, or the Libs or the Dippers.

In uncertain times we need a leader unafraid to stand on the right side of Christie Blatchford, and so close he could peep down her top.

That’s on my bucket list, so Mr Harper’s livin’ the dream.


  1. God (or Allah) love him! If Dick Little didn’t already exist, someone in the satirical press would have to make him up! More profit in that, and umm…..less prophet.

  2. I thought I could not be offended by the any content found in a satirical magazine. Today that changed. The mere thought of someone being able to peek down the blouse of that shemale Christie Blatchford has sent me running to the toilet and disgorge my lunch into the porcelain god!

  3. Most all Prophets had beards, Rabbis, Orthodox Jews, Muslims, Orthodox Greeks, etc., all have beards – so really by a beard he was shocked? He he he ….

  4. “… unafraid to stand on the right side of Christie Blatchford …” – if I’m not mistaken, there’s not much room there, and I’m pretty sure Dick is hogging the spot!

  5. I have a vision…thousands of Frank magazine readers gathered on Parliament Hill chanting “Je suis Dick…nous sommes tous Dick”.

  6. As for this business about the “terrorists” declaring war on us- I think we beat them to the punch with our air strikes, which have been going on for awhile. What, did we think that we’d take no punches back, just because the people we’re bombing don’t have an air force?

  7. If our author realizes his bucket list dream, would that be slipping Crusty a Little Dick?

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