Statement by President Stephen Harper on the Report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission

Mr. Speaker, meegwetch.

First, I would like to acknowledge that this House sits on unceded, unsurrendered territory of the Conservative Party of Canada.

Obviously, the release of The Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s report is a landmark moment in Canada’s fight against international jihadism.

Never has the choice before our nation been so stark: do we let bygones be bygones, or will we allow the Omar Khadrs of the world demolish the Memorial to the Victims of Communism?

This government means to not only turn the page on the many dark years of the Nanny State, but to burn the books in which they are recorded.

Only in this way can we achieve a strong, stable majority government to better serve our weak and unstable minorities. Of which we have plenty, and none is too many.

Obviously, the residential school system, chiefly fostered by Liberal governments which believed they could deliver better results than the private sector, was a tragic failure.

As Canadians, we must all learn the sombre lesson from this exercise in sociology, that never again should bureaucrats be entrusted with enacting public policy.

And so it is my great pleasure to table for the House The Leave No Papoose Behind Act.

This government intends to show leadership in the matter of residential schooling. That is why today I am announcing the construction of 50 new residential schools over five years.

Our partnership with Enbridge and General Dynamics will ensure that the curriculum honours indigenous culture while meeting the needs of both the resource industry and our Saudi clients.

We remain determined to repair the broken relationship with Canada’s native people, many of whom have been reduced to a life of refereeing wrestling bouts.

But without prosperity there can be no truth, and without a security apparatus free of oversight there can be no reconciliation.

Again, obviously, meegwetch.

6 comments on “Statement by President Stephen Harper on the Report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission
  1. rumleyfips says:

    Now: all rise and sing : Our Home On Native Land .

  2. OJM says:

    If Stephen Harper actually was an Indian his name would be…Cowers-in-Closet? Dances-with-Kittens? Keeps-Hair-on-Dresser?

  3. Auldhame Farm says:

    Ooooh! OJM! “Cowers-in-Closets” ! His “Hair” is angry with you just now. So might be Steven, when “the Hair” talks to him tonight. Tom Flanagan & Harper have long held the idea that Natives should be forcefully assimilated. And, Reserves should be transferred over to the Multi-Nationals that will pay Steve, and Baird, and now MacKay. Or, so it has been reported. I’m not knowing. 🙂

  4. Bragi says:

    Wonderful parody. It *is* a parody, right?

  5. Mikeonthebike says:

    Brilliant piece, too bad it is not really satire but too close to the truth…