The Fort Mac Fire Has All The Earmarks Of An Inside Nose Job!

Now I’m not big on conspiracy theories, since it’s a fact most of ’em are made up by the UN to distract us from their New Worldwide Order designs. But I think the NDP pulled the Fort McMurray Reichstag fire.

Don’t ask me how I’m so sure. My eyes just have a nose for this sorta thing.

The Notley crew has had the run of Alberta for a year: plenty of time to stock up on matches, lighter fluid and whatnot.

Especially if ya rotate a few trusted junior ministers around to different Canadian Tires every few days so as not to attract suspicion.

Ask yourself who benefits.

Remember, we’re talkin’ about Ground Zero of our ethical oil sands. So granted, maybe the Saudis had a hand in it, too. (It’d make sound business sense, so we shouldn’t judge ’em too harshly.)

But burnin’ down Fort Mac would be a real feather in the beret for the armed faction of the NDP.

Will they stop at nothin’ to push their radical climate change agenda?

Some might say the jury’s still out but I’ll be the judge of that.

I’d like Rex Murphy to pass sentence, because the way he squeezes ’em out it’s like he’s never constipated for words.

At least young Trudeau is sayin’ the right thing, that people ought not blame the climate for the unseasonable heat, wind and humidity.

His old man would have given the finger to Ian Tyson and given another finger to Sylvia Tyson, and the Ottawa press gallery would have crowed “Ooh la la, he’s so cosmopolitan!” So I suppose that’s an improvement.

I’m confident Fort Mac’ll rebuild, and I wish all their Newfies and Somalians the best.

I just hope they rebuild it where it was before, in the goddamn middle of nowhere, rather than, say, here. Or even hereabouts.

What do we want, the terrorists to win?


  1. Won’t Bosun Dick Little think of the little wee Black Spruce seeds sprung from the cones by the fire and landing on bare soil, when the fire burns through the moss or lichen layers atop the soil, it’s easier for the seeds to thrive in burn sites. The pine and spruce trees have adapted so that once they’re old enough, and decadent and need to be replaced, they are available to fire so they burn. Jack Pine, the most common tree in the northern boreal forests (see Tom Thompson, and “six” others) thrives after forest fires.

    Think of the little trees needing room to grow.

  2. When I read Dick’s penultimate paragraph, I nearly laughed myself into a permanent state of hiccups.

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