Q: Is it time to panic now?
A: Nope. You have news professionals — and Joe Wormington! — to do it for you.
Inoculate yourself against pants-wetting mainstream media with a Frank sub. My organ got you through SARS, MERS, Anthrax and Ebola. We’ll get you through this with a smirk or die trying.
In the meantime, there are a few simple things we can all do:
1. Abstain from all braunnosing;
2. Consider just getting a kneeover;
3. If you must bust a headvalve, do it into a pillow, which should then be disposed of, never bitten.
Readers may experience much wheezy laughter. Don’t panic. That’s a Frank feature, and not, thankfully, a bug.
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“Inoculate yourself against pants-wetting mainstream media with a Frank sub. My organ got you through SARS, MERS, Anthrax and Ebola. We’ll get you through this with a smirk or die trying.”
Yeah, but where were you on the great Paraquat scare of the ’70s?
Why should I pay through the nose for brand-name Frank? Shurely there must be cheaper generic versions available. (Or is THAT the reason Barry Sherman got whacked?)