Frankland Capital Corporation, in partnership with the New World Order™, proudly announces the opening (UPDATE: and, er, closing!!–ed.) of our new Greenland and Thulian Affairs desk in Kangerlussuaq, Greenland.
Our correspondent, Siggie, immediately impressed us in the interview: Cartoon U. near-graduate, Petfinder intern, knew his Havel and Thucydides, sole applicant. He soon proved as funny as a frozen rubber crutch (rubber freezes at between -20 and -30C, Siggie confidently said in the interview, looking briefly up from his phone.) But none of that matters now.
Siggie’s application to embed with NATO forces for warmth and strategic companionship in a multi-polar world was tragically and fatally delayed, pending deliberations by our Operation Reindeer Wargames allies on whether to invite the Canadians, who at press time remain on polite standby.
We won’t forget you, Siggie. To learn more about Frank’s international internship program, email info@frankmag.ca.
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First they came for the walruses
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a walrus…goo goo g’joob
Incidentally, Siggie landed on his feet and is doing just fine as a skyr tycoon.
Franksters, imagine you joined forces with Private Eye, Le Canard Echainé and Das Tagebuch Für Zynische Gedanken (or whatever the hell passes for a satirical magazine among the famously dour and truculent Jerries)…the result would be a middle-power sardonic juggernaut the likes of which the world has never seen (at least not since the Russians broke down the doors at Der Stürmer).
“Le Canard Enchainé” je voulais dire.