A doctor writes: Jian Ghomeshi’s golden penis

by A. Doctor

As a doctor of forensic psychiatry, I’m often asked: What the hell is wrong with Jian Ghomeshi?

I reply that his relationship with his mother (and bail surety), Sarah Azar Ghomeshi, may have developed a poisonous dynamic, resulting in Jian developing a narcissistic personality to compensate for the profound insecurity caused by his mother’s covert or overt disapproval.

Or, as they say in Iran, “The pomegranate don’t fall far from da bush.”

Iranian men are often mama’s boys. Their pride and vanity can be traced back to their birth and their mothers’ reference to their precious male child as Doodool Talah–golden penis.

The result is that millions of Iranian men around the world truly believe that their dicks, if not actually made from gold, are at least the equivalent, and they grow up in the belief that women should worship their golden manhood. Every woman they meet must treasure it, and even those they don’t.

Freudian connotations aside, Iranian mothers are not alone in manipulation and over indulgence of their boys. The same stereotype exists with Jewish and Italian mothers.

In traditional societies, where women had virtually no legal or economic standing, they assured their security through their son’s unbending loyalty to them.

Hence, in Iranian culture, a “girlfriend” is low in prestige and can never really compete with Mother.


  1. Maybe satirical (?) but it rings true. I know quite a few Jewish and Italian men who exhibit the same traits but to date, no Iranians. My comment to others when Jian was ordered to live with HIS MOTHER (!) was “oooo, let’s see what this brings. (I can’t imagine having to live with my 47 year old son, no matter what his dick was made of)

  2. Blame mommy. Been there, seen that. Try again, okay?

    About Jian being placed under the supervision of his mother. I would assume it was because there was no one else who would take him in and see to it that he obeyed the bail conditions. If not for her, he’d be sitting in the hoosegow. If Jian’s dad was still alive, then he would probably have been placed under the supervision of “his parents”. Which would sound so much better to above psychiatrist.

    In some cultures, family matters a whole bunch – no matter how awful they are. Here – well, we don’t have such strong family bonds, pathological or healthy.

  3. How much more can there be left to say in the national dialogue on John Ghomeshi’s doodle?

  4. ChosenBarley: A bail surety has to have a close personal connection to the baillee seeing the undertaking.

    Sometimes a ghalyun is just a ghalyun.

Comments are closed.

Previous Story

No Speaker like an Old Speaker…

Next Story

Braunnose. Fishin’ made easy