Oh, Say It Ain’t So, Mr. Baird!

I never pegged Johnny Baird as a quitter. Scratch that: I never pegged Johnny Baird, period.

So now it’s so long, then, and thanks for all the knish?

Well, this is a shocker!

Especially since he hadn’t pissed off veterans yet, and the PM likes to give everybody their fair turn.

There’s gotta be somethin’ more to this.

He was known to be close to Mrs. Harper, so maybe he got too close for Mr Harper’s comfort.

Even if Tory Canada is damn near Camelot, you just can’t cuckold a sitting Prime Minister.

I don’t care how many cats Laureen may have that we don’t even know about, she’s still a handsome woman.

If she was my first lady I know I’d want a female Mountie watchin’ her 24/7.

Say what you like about Baird, so long as it’s favourable. There’s no dispute the man’s been a good role model to conservative gents of average intelligence.

I can say that because I’m proud to call myself one of ’em. If you recite the same talkin’ points loud enough there’s no tellin’ what you can accomplish.

You just know that, if they could, the Libbies and Lefties would be dancin’ in the streets of Palestine at the news.

And since the new anti-terror bill isn’t law of the land there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.

Not yet.

And I won’t feel safe until we do.

But I suppose 20 years at the public trough is enough to earn anybody an affectionate “That’ll do, pig.”

I’m not worried for him. I expect he’ll not lack for rewardin’ opportunities in the private sector, which is well and good, since thanks to Mr. Harper that’s pretty much the only sector we got.

I worry for Canada. Who’s gonna stand up for us and yell at things only he can see?

Where’s the next jaw that’s the match for John Kerry’s?

Is anybody thinkin’ about the pipelines?

These are the things that are keepin’ me awake this afternoon.


  1. Johnny and Laurie were stalwart proponents and practitioners of LGBT, whereas Stevie is of no know sexual orientation whatsoever. Must of finally pissed him off.

  2. Dear Dick:

    I’m sure she has been watching the female mounties quite closely all this time.

  3. I expect he’s been offered a job in the “private sector.”
    He’s never had one before – in fact, he’s never had what
    most people would call a job, period.

  4. Private sector seems most likely. Or UN. Or maybe Israel. Also possible:

    • Getting out before the Harper ship sinks
    • Tired of being Harper’s puppet
    • Leaving now to return triumphantly from the private sector years from now when everyone’s tired of Trudeau
    • Impending scandal a la Jian Ghomeshi?
    • Ethical qualms? (I know, I know—unlikely at this late date)
    • Illness? (I know we’re all pretty cynical about politicians these days, but if he’s ill, I hope it’s curable)

    I guess we’ll have to see where he lands.

  5. Don’t be so elitist Dick – fer shure Beard had lots and lots of appeal to below-average intelligence Cons as well!

  6. Perhaps someone has damaging pictures? Anyway, as Harper, he’ll be well rewarded in the Private Sector.
    I don’t think his legacy ( Prov. & Federal) was anything but damaging to this country. Good riddance.

Comments are closed.

Previous Story

Remedial Media: Corpse lifer seeks second pension

Next Story

So Farewell Then, John Baird!