The Beard stands alone

A delight to see retiree John Baird at the Politics and the Pen beanfest at the Chateau Laurier last week, snorkelling back one more complimentary meal before embarking on his next adventure.

Sadly, the much-bruited “next chapter” of Beardy’s career arc does not seem to be unfolding quite as he—and we–had anticipated.

With nine years and change before he turns 55 and can start tapping his $64,381 pension from a grateful nation, the career politico is finding life outside the bubble that has sustained him from age 26 a mite inhospitable.

While Frank is certain the talented and well-connected statesman will eventually find a suitable colour of parachute, the rejections are beginning to pile up.

One of Rusty’s first calls was to Derek Vanstone, his pillow-biting crony from Queen’s Park and the PMO, now ensconced as VP of government relations at Air Canada, to sniff out the likelihood of a berth on the AC board. No joy.

Ditto at Toronto Dominion, where Beard’s reputation preceded and defeated him.

The lack so far of corporate swells eager to bump Beard onto the board merely reinforces the perception among Hill gossip queens that Rusty’s abrupt retirement announcement was about fleeing his past, rather than pursuing his future.

As Foreign Affairs Minister, the peripatetic bon vivant never seemed to be having anything other than the time of his nightlife, whether commandeering diplomatic residences with his party-hearty pals or prowling the clubs of Brazil, Shanghai and Thailand.

Certainly, whatever happened on his last toot to Israel in January that so titillated his RCMP minders has, so far, stayed in the Promised Land.

Stateside, Frank hears reports that D.C. police paid a visit to the Canadian embassy in Washington in September with some questions and concerns about a Canadian dignitary’s off-hours diversions in the capital, which one complainant had deemed rather more spanky than hanky.

And speaking of baseless, sniggering homophobia, a retired CIA agent, Jason Matthews, has turned to typing espionage thrillers. His debut, Red Sparrow, includes a character named Anthony Trunk, flamboyant Canadian assistant trade minister with a “predilection for men in their early 20s.”

Next chapter indeed!



  1. I’m waiting for the other Jimmy Choo to drop. The departure was a tad abrupt/messy looking/unplanned unless there was something more to be exposed to a waiting world. I wonder if there will be further revelations before, or after the writ? Constable Plod and Inspector Spook work in mysterious ways and none too quickly, so here hoping for the best for Rusty. Who knows? Perhaps there are plans afoot to provide John with taxpayer paid meals and accommodation supplied by a grateful nation as a ‘bridge’ to full retirement.

    • Shurely you can’t mean that Rusty may be looking at the prospect of being a guest of Her Majesty (and not in a good way)! As you so eloquently observe above, what spoke volumes for me about his “abrupt … messy [and] … unplanned” departure was the similarly abrupt departure of the Dear Leader from the House of Commons before the shameful all-Party blowfest that followed the announcement. Not at all what I was expecting, especially in light of the ‘closeness’ between the two. Definitely more than meets the eye. And, as usual, the lamestream media is nowhere near the story.

  2. Was Baird being blackmailed? Had his adventures come to the attention of the Dear Leader? Anyone who knows should contact Frank with all of the juicy details!

  3. this could be the incident that was alluded to 2 weeks ago. It was about a Con gay caucus scandal that had criminal undertones that the lib snoops uncovered when they were collecting dirt to protect their own secret dirt about JT.

  4. I think that some feel that President Steve is for the high jump.What with disrespect for Veterans, aged seniors getting their mail outside in winter, Duffy and fellow travelers ( Sort of literally, the traveler part that is ).Is Sir Steve walks the plank who would appear from behind the main mast….what Black Baird the Pirate ( Enough pirate analogies)

    • Hmmm. The power-whoring Tories must be doing the math even as we speak. President Steve’s chances at re-election being slim to nil, they’re going to need another meat suit to shove in front of the public, which is easily distracted by shiny things. Jim Prentice would be an intriguing choice, but not very probable. Consecrated Virgin and Lardy Boy, Jason Kenney, is being touted. But as he is charismatically challenged in the highest degree, it’s hard to see who would replace the Dear Leader (who wouldn’t leave the PMO until his last finger had been pried off the last door frame, anyway).

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