Lauren Southern: Rebel Media’s She Wolf of the Ez’ Ez’!

Avid followers of Rebel Media will doubtless be familiar with Lauren Southern, the loopy journo/pundit whose recent screed, Barbarians: How The Baby Boomers, Immigration, and Islam Screwed my Generation currently goosesteps across the best-seller list of political books at

A protégé of Rebel Commander Ezra Lügenpants, Lauren has been in the front lines of the little pisher’s endless struggle for freedom of speech, taking on “the United Nations in India; the Bilderberg group in Germany, terrorist safe havens in Belgium [doing] real reporting that the mainstream media doesn’t do, lest their findings interfere with their official narrative.”

Of course, Lauren’s genocide blonde schtick might not be to everyone’s taste, so for Frank readers who’d rather not drop $10 on a 61-page screed of race-baiting and blatant lifts from Breitbart, we’ve compiled the Coles notes. Heeere’s Lauren:

On Donald Trump:
Trump never foreclosed the possibility of a generous immigration policy. He repeatedly talked about the “big, beautiful door” he wanted to build in his wall. But there’s a big difference between throwing the door to your house open and not having the door at all. There is nothing welcoming about a house without a door, because there was never a choice to leave the door open.

Yes, it’s something of a compliment that so many people want to come to countries like America, just as it’s a compliment for the prettiest girl in school to have every man asking her out. But if that girl lets all those guys into her, her body will get used up fast and the same thing for a country. To borrow a line from the feminists, sometimes no means no. The Trump campaign was America’s rape whistle.

On Adolf Hitler:
On top of being a whiny art student who scapegoated an allegedly ‘privileged’ race for all his problems, and talked a bunch of violent angry people into siding with him, like any good Social Justice Warrior, Hitler also wished he was a Muslim.

He might’ve been a nationalist by technicality, but he was more in the New Black Panthers style of “nationalist” than the Trump style. Frankly, I think today, he’d be one of those low-T Tumblr crazies who join ISIS and end up on the news.

Everyone likes to complain about Hitler and Mussolini, but everyone forgets that without nationalism, we wouldn’t have a Germany or an Italy to get mad at for Hitler and Mussolini. Without nationalism, we’d probably still be at war with the freaking Habsburg (sic) Empire. Nationalism is what builds societies, and yes, just like how millennials take self-esteem too far, folks like Hitler, Mussolini or Malik Shabazz take nationalism too far.

I’m not Hitler, figuratively or literally. As far as I’m concerned, Hitler was just a Social Justice Warrior who happened to get freaky amounts of power and actually implement his #KillAllJews (the predecessor to #KillAllMen) worldview. Basically, if Hitler were writing today, he could’ve avoided all the verbiage in Mein Kampf and just complained about “Jew-splaining” on Tumblr and the message would be the same.

On Social Justice Warriors:
This gets to a deeper point: even outside SJW, the millennial generation is to humans what French bulldogs are to dogs: Bred to be useless, almost incapable of procreation, and possessed of comically big heads.

In fact, SJWs in general are to emotivism what Walter White was to crystal meth: Manufacturers of its purest, most dangerous form.

On the Crusades:
Like sword-wielding versions of Twisted Sister, Christendom declared, “We’re not going to take it anymore.”

On Immigration:
Unchecked immigration by low-skilled workers attacks the economy from two directions: first, the number of shiftless immigrants grows the welfare state at the expense of the private sector. Second, even those who work hard often siphon money out of our domestic economy and send it back to their own countries, which boosts those countries at our expense.

When prosperous nations with generous welfare states throw open their doors and refuse to enforce their borders, the new populations agitate for more benefits, and sometimes even manage to vote for them thanks to fraud. As these benefits increase, so do the incentives for more poor immigrants to pour across the border, who turn around and vote themselves more goodies, which produces more immigrants, and so on and so on until the entire government goes broke.

We have to watch as the flags in our windows change from German to Turkish, or from American to Mexican. We have to watch as our streets become Hobbesian war zones, as our native English is treated as a dying language, and as patriotism is mocked. We have to watch as our paychecks are sucked dry to pay for pensions built for richer people, health care built for lazier people, education built for stupider people and kindness to unworthy people.

[For liberals] immigration is all about playing mommy to the poor, vulnerable immigrant populations, who obviously contribute so much to diversity and multiculturalism. I mean, without immigrants where would we have got Chipotle?!

On sex:
And what else are we to make of the manner in which millennial feminists loudly trumpet the sluttiest, cattiest parts of hookup culture as empowering precisely because they prevent them ever having to acknowledge a guy (or in their parlance, “f—kboy”) having once used him as a human dildo? Answer: millennial feminists want to amputate something that is just a part of human nature—the fact that sex makes women more vulnerable, both emotionally and physically, than men.

On everything else:
But that’s politics and sex, and really, you don’t want to get me started on religion or art.


  1. Well, after that , I certainly await her views on religion and art while futilely trying to pull my right arm down.

  2. We got Chipotle when the United States invaded Mexico and annexed more than half of it. Yeah. Immigrants!

  3. Guess someone skipped all their classes. Even the hard-core stoners in my class would know all this stuff is bat-shit crazy. Only redeeming thing is that she is nice to look at while she spouts pure stupidity.

  4. “Everyone likes to complain about Hitler and Mussolini”…and now I’m expecting a boffo one-liner…so disappointing.

  5. Lauren’s from the Bible Belt of upper Fraser Valley, east of Vancouver, towns being Surrey, Abbotsford and Chilliwack (appropiate name) cities. But did only two years at the jumped-up junior college called University of the Fraser Valley. (Political Science and Government, Second Year, 2013 – 2018).
    Who can forget her service as Food Services Coordinator, UFV Student Union Society, April 2015 – February 2016 (11 months). From there straight to Toronto and Host/Commentator, Rebel Media, February 2016 – Present (1 year 1 month) Toronto.
    Lots of loonies on the fright-hand column of her LinkedIn page for “People Also Viewed” the category.
    Her federal “Libertarian” campaign for the riding of Langley-Aldergrove went nowhere.

  6. Too many people thought because she was a cute kid she was smart, and now she believes it. But she’s not even smart enough to know she isn’t.

  7. Everyone let’s try & remember that Lauren is 22. It was only 4 years ago that the girl was eligible to vote. She has nary a clue, & is (hold on) under the spell of Ezra Levant – a third-rate faux-contrarian who is feeding her fourth-rate media lines.

    And here’s the pathetic thing – she actually thinks it’s her writing that’s getting attention. She’s like the casting couch starlet whom a seedy agent has convinced she’s a real actor, when in fact her principal assets are a set of mammary glands many men would love to fondle.

    (Why do I keep thinking of Diana Dors?)

    • All good points re Ezra’s spell. — I take issue that she knows not right from wrong. I was a tarted up 20-year-old in a replica Dallas Cowboy Cheeleader outfit working in small town Ontario country bar – circa 1983. AIDS was just becoming “a thing”. Somewhere along the way I learned not to call people faggots. Hate is learned. No age required.

  8. Frank! We eat the news! So you don’t have to! — Ann Coulter was running this shtick when Southern was still shitting in a paper. I rejoice in unison with my fellow Frankers. Ezra and his marauding band of factfuckers *finally* getting the public recognition they deserve. Frankland’s tireless hammering, come on down! Southern fancies herself a skilled practitioner of the womanly arts. A Libertarian crusader straight out of central casting. All we need now are some Eva Braun-sensible shoes and a sexless marriage. She’s probably at home right now crocheting Ayn Rand quotes onto her merkin. The Pishmeister’s very own Lügenpants Lapdog. And the manchild bitcoin counters at the Vaughan Rd. BullshitBunker have never spent so much time in the loo! #HazardPay Paul Reubens is 104.

  9. Ezra Levant at UofT on Saturday. The Lügenspew was just trying to do his job. All tricked out in his finest Harry Rosen haberdash (the man spares no expense!) speeching the good speech, until a marauding band of SJW’s pulled the fire alarm. Goblin Gathering moved outside. New Age Man keepsake moment o’ the day? Framed pic of guy with UK accent (in dire need of bath and razor) carrying “Eat Hummus” protest sign. SJW mic drop. #BeTheChange #DontWorryFolks #TheyGotThis

    • 03:38 As a large crowd of chanting protestors approach in the distance, Ezra laughs and says: “I think they’re dancing the hora!”

  10. Another delightful BC bimbette. Rachael Marsden called herself a “babe for Bush” last decade.

    • Ah, Rachel Marsden, now 42, has moved to Paris (Versailles suburb) and you can read her rantings on various ports as Desordre Mondial [ web page to ]
      “Desordre Mondial avec @RachelMarsden sur Sputnik News. Je suis votre arbitre… *Non-approuvee par le Parlement Europeen!” but she mainly works in a form of the English language.

      Frank would love the dead-face photo of her interview with headphones on and a huge spittle shield over the microphone in Sputnik News. No botox on this raving lunatic’s brow.

      She even gets into the Chicago Trib via that dexter-winged American Voices filler service, which carefully uses the trigger word “Fox News host” to draw the jaw-draggers in.
      Much like Scacchi Koul last weekend “I wrote about how Canada still sucks. Sorry!!!!!!!” she said, in the NY Times did with a free “forthcoming book” plug.
      Amd then we have St. Barbara Frum’s spawn David with an anti-Trump (Cover!! LOOK at ME!!) story in The Atlantic magazine this month trying to make up for the damage that sister Linda is doing in the Upper House.
      Meanwhile David’s wife Danielle Crittenden (Frum), “Creative Director and CEO of Fig Tree and Vine, an online Jewish lifestyle and e-commerce site”, profiled by The Federalist as “‘The Best Of Both Worlds’: Kids Were No Barrier To This Female Entrepreneur” is drivelling in Huffington Post and Huffington Post Canada

  11. Give it up, Lauren, honey…the Reactionary Wingnut-Welfare System is generous and not terribly discriminating, but even it has standards.

  12. Sigh!
    “I GOT WHITE HOUSE PRESS ACCESS?!” by Lauren Southern 9 minutes
    ‘Published on Mar 15, 2017
    I’m still figuring out all the sound, lighting and editing so bear with me. Quality is only going up from here!;

  13. Why sudden interest in Ms. Southern in August 2017?

    Maybe it is Splice Today’s noting today that in article headed “Rebel Media’s Tumult” via the leak of a video of Levant and his London (Eng.) co-workers, 22-year-old Caolan Robertson, who Levant had hired to work with one of his star reporters, British anti-Islam activist Tommy Robinson.

    “The word was that Lauren Southern left Rebel
    via a mutual understanding, but Robertson states
    that she got fired after refusing to make a
    fundraising video for a trip to Israel.”

Comments are closed.

Previous Story

Richie got his cheque

Next Story

Who Wants to be First Past the Post-Apocalypse?